Meditation - Reduces stress

A picture of Winter in Tehran, taken from the window of a place where I stayed. Good for meditation......

There is an interesting article in The Sun Weekend today July 30 on Meditation and I wish to record it in this blog of mine. I have always wanted to learn the art of meditation. Have been to a few places and learn a few methods. Some of it seems to work while some of it is just a waste of my time, maybe because I do not understand the method itself or was doing it wrongly.

Here are two meditation techniques that are based on those used in research studies. For maximum benefit, try to meditate for 20 minutes to half an hour before sleeping, using the technique that feels more comfortable for you.

Mindful Meditation

• Find a quite and comfortable place. Sit in a chair or on the floor with your head, neck and back straight but not stiff. Try to put aside all thoughts of the past and the future and stay in the present.
• Become aware of your breathing, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body as you breathe. Pay attention to the way each breath changes and is different.
• Watch every thought come and go, whether it be a worry, fear, anxiety or hope. When thoughts come up in your mind, don't ignore or suppress them but simply note them, remain calm and use your breathing as an anchor.
• If you find yourself getting carried away in your thoughts, observe where your mind went off to, without judging, and simply return to your breathing.
• As the time comes to a close, sit for a minute or two, becoming aware of where you are and then get up gradually

Relaxation Response

• Find a quite place and sit in a comfortable position. Try to relax your muscles.
• Choose a word or phrase that has special meaning to you and that makes you feel peaceful.
• As you breathe in, slowly produce the sound "hammmm" as if you are sinking into a hot bath. As you exhale, slowly produce the sound "saaaaah" which should feel like a sigh.
• Breathe slowly and naturally. Inhale through your nose and pause for a few seconds. Exhale through your mouth, again pausing for a few seconds.
• As the time comes to a close, continue to be aware of your breathing but sit quitely. Becoming aware of where you are, slowly open your eyes and get up gradually.

People who meditate have long known tha this practice has positive health benefits that include improved energy and calmness of mind. Research also shows that meditation also increases levels of melatonin, an important hormone that supports the immune system, promotes deep and restful sleep, slows cell damage and ageing, improves energy and may even inhibit the growth of cancer cells.

Regular meditation can also help to reduce high blood pressure. It remains unclear how meditation lowersw blood pressure but the researchers believe it had a positive effect on narrow blood vessels. During meditation, the person's breathing slows down and hence his body metabolism, heart beats and blood flow. Generally, the purpose of breathing meditation is to calm the mind and develop inner peace.

This feeling of contentment and well-being helps one to cope with the busyness and diffculties of daily life. So much of the stress and tension one normally experiences comes from one's mind, and many of the problems one faces, including ill health, are caused or aggravated by this stress. Meditating 10 or 15 minutes daily will reduce the stress.

My comments : I have some information that OXYGEN has been known to KILL cancer. My guess is, by meditation, the intake of oxygen into the blood stream increases thus killing the cancer cells which live and grow in a very low or non-oxygenated environment of the body.

My suggestion : I will try the above methods and hope that you guys would do the same and if it works for you then please pass it to everyone around you.

A note before signing off, have a great weekend and be prepared for the week to come. Stay healthy and happy always.

FIRST LOVE

No guys. This is not about my first love affair. This is about first love. It could be yours, your friends or people unknown to you. It could also be an advice or simply pure fictitious writing. I shall let you guys be the judge of it. (This could be a never ending story, berkilometer panjangnya so you have been warned)

As I was having my usual Coffee Ginseng Tarik in one of the busiest Mamak Restoren in Ampang Point at about 12 midnight, I could see a lot of couple sitting, chatting, laughing, crying, arguing and mostly looks like they are in love (or pretending to be in love) hoping to satisfy whatever desire playing in their mind. The thing that is quite alarming is to see a lot of teenages and I am wondering why they are still up and out of their safe home at this wee hours. Taking another sip of my steaming Coffee Ginseng Tarik, I start to ponder on what is love and trying to narrow it down to "what is first love".

Maybe its just the effect of caffeine in the coffee or could probably be due to me missing somebody. I don't know. Nevertheless, I would say first love is when a baby is born. Tones of happiness is in the air when you have the previledge of looking into the tender faces and touch the softness of their skin. A baby fragant is always soothing.... Indescribable.

The fatherly love (if you are a man) or motherly love (if you are a woman) becomes a very strong bondage between the parent and their child. At this point, the song entitled CHILD starts to linger in my mind. There's so much truth in the lyrics. Then the episode of pain and gain in bringing up the child for the parent as well as the growing up process for the child begins. Sad to say that some of this first love became an accumulating hatred until finally its "I hate you" kind of thing. The love just vaporised. It make me think, how very true, that to build, may have to be slow and laborious task of years but to destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. There's a hope for every woe, and a balm for every pain, but the first joy of our hearts comes never back again!

Admiring some of the teenage beauty, which sometimes made my old heart pound frantically, I cannot stop myself from asking the same question over and over again. Why, why and why. Have you not get enough love at home that you are now exposing yourself to this dangerous outside world? Or is it the rebellious growing up attitude that you have picked up along the growing process? Or could it be a lot safer out here than back home? I wonder.

By now the time flies. Its already almost 2 am and the orders for teh tarik, maggie goreng, chapatti, roti canai, air suam etc etc keeps the mamak really busy. Once a while you can hear shouting from the other end of the shop "Hoi mamak, tak mau meniaga ka ha! And those Indian origin waiter rush to them with their smiling forgiving faces, couldn't be bothered with the insulting words of the clients. Salute to them. These are real businessman.

Anyway, I received my 4th drink and after a sip, decided to focus on my first love thinggy. To really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn. This is an undeniable statement. When you think you have understood something or someone, than new things emerged. You start to rethink thus forgetting that feeling that you had with that someone. A gems cannot be polished without friction, nor a man (or woman) perfected without trials. The question here is what happen after trials. If guilty is the judgment, how to be fair in the punishment? This is love that we are talking about not a criminal offence. When your first love did something wrong, do you leave them or worst still kill them or their feelings? If the answer is straight "YES" then it is only you that you are punishing and your death is confirmed. You've got to jump off cliffs and build your wings on the way down and hopefully you survive. But I've seen to many corpse at the bottom of the cliff.

Life's a great thing and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Happiness is a perfume which you cannot pour on someone without getting some on yourself as the purest love lies where it is least expected. The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved for ourselves, or rather in spite of ourselves. When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing. Only first love provide all those. It is pure and sweet and full of life. Kind and compassionate act is often its own reward when you truly believed. But when you stop believing then before even knowing it you are already nearing the bottom of the cliff.

There are a lot of broken hearted people in this universe. Most of it is caused by WORDS. One of the very best rules of conversation is to never, say anything which any of the company wish had been left unsaid. But we just cannot follow this simple rule. Sometimes we say things with intention but most of the time, normally in arguments, we say things that we do not have any intention which caused your love ones to wonder and wounded at the same time.

A man who desires a house cannot, except in the Arabian Nights, have it rise before him as a result of his mere wish; time and labor must be expended before his wish can be gratified. It is by loving and by being loved that one can come nearest to the soul of another.

P.S. It is not that long afterall. But I shall post the part 2 of First Love soon.... Good night all lovers out there and may GOD blessed all of you.

LONG LONELY WALK

Another dear friend of mine seems to be totally lost in himself. Life to him is full of nonsense. Experienced man lost in this world of fools. What is in his mind, only God knows. He has walked so many path in his life and yet its like a never ending walk. Serving an organization with 5 different call cards bearing 5 different position. Undertaking almost all of the organization wishes and desire which does not satisfy his own personal desire. Actually what went wrong. Is he trap in his own private maneuvering and office politicking or became the victim of the whole situation and couldn't get out. A lot has been said about him. A person with no vision, dead log, excess baggage are some of the softest accusation. There are plenty more things that has been privately thrown to him. What a pity. He has said to me that he don't care. But I know he cares. He surely care about many things, too much, that people around him misconstrued him. He has been viewed as threatening to many inferiority complex person purportedly to be closed to him or even at one time before, regarded him as family, brother and friend.

My dear friend, so long as we believe in our great work and do not capitulate, we shall continue to enjoy in the future. When you do something, you should burn yourself up completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself for we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. The influential man, like yourself, is the successful man, whether rich or poor and the majority can never replace the man. Would you learn the secret of the sea? Only those who brave its dangers, comprehend its mystery.

The 3rd C's of Marketing

What would you do if the things that you believe has been secured suddenly seems to be slipping away through your fingers right under your nose. Angry, mad, furious or all of it. I'm sure that the mixed emotions is not something that will disappear by itself. It takes a lot of consoling and reasoning to be above the situation. I am now face with this sort of unhealthy emotional despair and the feeling sucks. Don't like it at all. Nope.

I am back at the drawing board again, trying to figure out what went wrong. First thing that crosses by fuming head is fools can find fault but they can't act anymore wisely. The excuses that was given to me about the project that I've devoted my timeless effort sounds pathetic. I hate it when some pretentious jokers starts to evaluate what has been done and without any reasons, except for being at the position entrusted to him by his countrymen, reject outright all facts and figures previously unanimously accepted. To think that he is where he is right now, I must say, its a bloody waste of the tax payers money. Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making. If politics is to become scientific, and if the event is not to be constantly surprising, it is imperative that our political thinking should penetrate more deeply into the springs of human action. What is so difficult about changing the facts when the facts does not fit the theory. For the nature of project that I'm handling right now, to change the facts is totally out of the question.

My evil mind has been activated now and I think I've to invoke the 3rd C's of marketing. I've done the first 2 C's of marketing that is CONVINCING which was followed closely thereafter by CONFUSING those idiots with all those not so technical jargons. Now the 3rd C shall be done. Watch out you corporate mediocre idiotic morons. We will see how you will fare in this game of wit.

Hell is sure ; Heaven is an option

This is an interesting title for me. I need to clarify though, that I am not a religious person. Even then I feel that it is quite interesting to think and talk about this topic and I would only touch on the religion originated from the sky above and not that of the earth. Religion that believe in One God.

Many Christian believers will definitely not agree with me. I think their teaching maintain that Jesus has paid for all their sin and he dies with it. Logically, if Jesus has died for all man kind sins, then all shall be the occupants of the paradise. But surprisingly there is still plenty of the hell being mentioned in the Bible. So I find it very difficult to believe that all man kind would go to heaven even though they have caused all hell to break loose in the earth during their time. If everybody has booked a place in paradise, then the creation of hell is a total waste of God’s time plus this God is so bias that he collects whatever due to him through one guy i.e. Jesus. If this guy is his son then it is even worst. He penalized his son for the wrong doing of others by allowing everybody to go to heaven on his son’s account. Man kind (women included) could then ransacked all morale and commit sin without even any guilty conscious and hope to be placed in paradise together with the son of god. I’ll be damned if this is what it will be in the other world.

Many Islam followers might also refute this statement of “Hell is confirmed and Heaven is an option”. Some of the sect in Islam believes that everybody will eventually goes to heaven. This is after spending their time in hell, of course. In easier term, after complete laundering of their sins, heaven becomes a must. Is this true. I can’t answer that as I’ve confessed earlier that I am not a religious guy. This does not mean that I do not belief in God. I do belief in God. I am just saying that I have no authority in religion but I have the absolute authority to think of a religion and satisfy my desire of my search for the Ultimate Al Mighty God. Coming back to my question of the truth whether we eventually will go to heaven, I must say that there is a possibility. After cleansing of all sins committed in this life, perhaps it is only fair that one shall be rewarded the paradise. In Al Quran, a lot has been mentioned about hell as compared to the mentioning of heaven. Why is this so? To me it means that the inhabitants of hell shall be more in numbers which lead me to another point of uncounted numbers of sinful man in this world. Some commit sin openly while many do it discreetly. Still, all of them will have, via their action in this world, booked a place in hell. This is my point, Hell is confirmed.

Good deeds in this world will still be scrutinized in many aspects. Many factors will be evaluated before a good deed becomes a good deed. Tonnes of questions will need to be interrogated before we could be sure that it is a pure good deed done. Only a real God would know the difference. A lot of people, good and bad, have sometime during their life, done something good either to themselves or to other creations of God. And in all justice, the Al Mighty God has knowledge on all this and shall punish or reward justly. Some deeds are viewed as good if human is the jury of such deed. Likewise some deeds are viewed as bad if human are allowed to judge it. Good deeds shall only be performed for God and not for other than God because one will not have the capacity to cheat the knowledge of God. God knows what human does not know and it is not so much to say that human knows nothing. Many knowledgeable religious men has mentioned in their books that after acquiring so much knowledge they think that they still do not know a lot of things that is needed to know. It takes undivided observations to understand why they weep in their prayers seeking forgiveness from God for sins that they would never commit. Why and how they would not be able to withstand the wrath of God, which if this happen, hell would be too unbearable for them. Eventually you will hear them seeking for the option to be considered for heaven instead.

So there you are, Hell is a sure thing and Heaven is an option. So for heaven’s sake, choose wisely……………………..

Disclaimer ; There is no intention to insult any religion or the believer whatsoever but if you are insulted then GO TO HELL.

IMMORTALITY - ?

No one has ever come back from the other world. I can't console you by telling you that your dear ones will, when you open your eyes after a nightmare, be right by your side, but one thing I can tell you, as long as their ideas are alive they will be alive. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. To be immortal we must be creative and comes up with lots and lots of ideas. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Even in the effort of being creative we must have a firm stand. Some might say that being firm with a certain stand, one is being bias. Prove to me who doesn't. Take a long peep at the history of the world and you can see that all those names are there because of the firm stand that they have make through out their reign of live. Yes I do agree that some of those have infected the whole system with deadly virus which cause more damage then progress. But still they became immortal. Present mankind took the trouble to study and rationalize their every move. Some became a copy-cat while many provide critical critics on what have been or should have been done in the first place. We shall never resolve the enigma of the relation between the negative foundations of greatness and that of greatness itself. Neither blame nor praise yourself.

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. What people call impartiality may simply mean indifference, and what people call partiality may simply mean mental activity. The finest eloquence is that which gets things done and the worst is that which delays them. Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream. Mistakes are to life what shadows are to light. Bright lights cast dark shadows when shone from only one direction. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. We can comprehend every single life phenomenon, as if the past, the present, and the future together with a super ordinates, guiding idea were present in it in traces. Every man's life lies within the present for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain.

By painful experience we have learnt that rational thinking does not suffice to solve the problems of our social life. The force which ever set in motion, the great historic avalanches of religious and political movements, is the magical power of the spoken word. I am bound to furnish my antagonists with arguments, but not with comprehension. But I believe that the ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. Resolved, never to do anything which I should be afraid to do, if it were my last of life. I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred. A decision without the pressure of consequence is hardly a decision at all. Coping with the demands of everyday life would be exceedingly trying, if one could arrive at solutions to problems only by actually performing possible options and suffering the consequences. I wish the days to be as centuries, loaded, fragrant. Idleness and pride tax with a heavier hand than kings and governments. There are thousands of degrees and variations, but it is always clearly the attitude of a person who finds his superiority in solving the complications of others. Patriots always talk of dying for their country, and never of killing for their country. You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong. But this too could not be understood.

The neurosis in which the search for safety takes its clearest form is in the compulsive-obsessive neurosis. Compulsive-obsessive to frantically order and stabilize the world so that no unmanageable, unexpected or unfamiliar dangers will ever appear.The more corrupt a country or a state, the more laws will be implemented to balance it. Supposedly, this will help the balancing act of a respectable life. To ease the pain and to do justice, so they say. For all mortals, birth is suffering, ageing is suffering, sickness is suffering and sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering. None of the above should have any direct implications to immortal. Of course you're always at liberty to judge the critic. Judge people as critics, however, and you'll condemn them all! I call the discourse of power any discourse that engenders blame, hence guilt, in its recipient. And the most effective answer to an insult is silence. We live in a dark frightening age. One reason for this is the part played by the ideology of inhumanities in our time. The growing tip is a small proportion of mankind. They will carry on. As a matter of fact, that is what is happening with the whole humanistic synthesis now, the groundbreaking is done by a few people, and most of the stuff is just routine or mediocre positive crap. That's all part of the game, and there is no avoiding it as long as human beings are human beings. We find that people's beliefs about their efficacy affect the sorts of choices they make in very significant ways. In particular, it affects their levels of motivation and perseverance in the face of obstacles. Most success requires persistent effort, so low self-efficacy becomes a self-limiting process. More important than innate disposition, objective experience, and environment is the subjective evaluation of these. Furthermore, this evaluation stands in a certain, often strange, relation to reality.

It is not the mountains we conquer but ourselves. I shall not wholly die, and a great part of me will escape the grave as the aspiration of the conceptual ideas thrown to many shall linger forever...

THE PASSIONS IN ME

By annihilating desires you annihilate the mind. Every man without passions has within him neither principle of action, nor motive to act as the mind will be absolute blank and remain motionless. What will be of a man with too many desires? Would he be more creative or would he be what many people termed as daylight dreamer. This is the question that I’ve frequently asked myself and this is due to my own personal desire of doing things which probably many would not even have the slightest idea to even think about. But if you are in my shoes than maybe you would actually see the need to be creative in whatever things that you do. I’ve been in poverty state for God knows how long and it has always been my desire to get the hell out of that situation. I’ve slaved for various organizations for very long now thinking that I would someday change my situation if I performed my duties entrusted to me diligently. But it has been so many trillion times that my judgments were way out of line. Despite my outstanding performance in those organizations, I feel used and because there is no other choice, reluctantly I’ve stayed in those organizations for quite some time and still performing outstandingly.

Pure stupidity? No. I think not. Hear me out. A premier league football player suddenly decided to pack his thing and leave the team. He went back to his home town somewhere in a remote village. After settling down, he makes new friends and started to mingle with them. They’ve got their own football team and playing in their own league. They then discover that this new guy has played football before and invite him to join the team. He decided to join them, thinking that maybe he could exercise his muscle a bit. He played with them during the training and before he even realized it he was capitalizing on all his premier league skill. It is in built in him. He cannot play or performed anything lesser. Obviously the coach could see his outstanding skill, so does his fellow team mates. Some appreciate him so much that he became the backbone of the team. Some despise his skill and feel threaten and quietly decided to be his enemy, lurking for the opportunity to take him down. The coach decide to totally capitalized this, hoping to take home the league trophy which will bring rich and famous to his own door plus the opportunity to be married to the village chief’s daughter. Upon realizing all these he will be irritated, frustrated, and do what most people do. Quit. Well if it is only the football team, then quitting is easy. After all he was just exercising some muscle and was having fun.

Relating this with my personal experiences, there are many similarities. I too have left the corporate world long ago. Yes, pack my things and leave. Start various venture of my own. I was not doing that bad when the current coach saw me and the ability in me, thus offered me to play in his team. Friends around me then have encouraged me to take up the offer and challenges that comes with it and for certain reason, I’ve accepted. I cannot deny the fact that I was enjoying myself in this new team until the point where I’ve lost trust in the ability of the coach. Then irritation, frustration and many more expressions of the same meaning, creeps into my mind and annihilate whatever precious intentions that I’ve had for this establishment so much so that now I am, again, looking for opportunity to emerge.

Lucky for me, I’ve friends who still think that I could be the key player of their team and as usual offered various places in their various team. Some are of the same league that I am now in while others are totally playing a different league. Is that what I am looking for? Will all those offers help me to change my life and poverty level? Perhaps there are some of those offers that would but my worries are to be used again and as usual I’ll be chasing after the dangling carrots. I am old and tired of the rat race. Having this creativity gift and the passions of coming out of poverty, the best solution would probably to start something on my own with the skills that I’ve accumulated and pray hard that GOD will help me.

A REASONABLE MAN

Yesterday I called a dear friend of mine and we talked for quite a bit. He was not in his usual jovial mood and as always his reasons are valid, at least to me. We ended our teleconversation in a much better mood and I am hoping that things will turned out good, for both of us. I am not going to bore you readers with the details but I intend to write the contents of the conversation in the manner that I always do.

A reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress seems to depend upon the unreasonable man. Is this true? Up to a certain extend, I must say it’s true. Unreasonable man thinks that the world belong to him. He doesn’t care what becomes of the world and others in it, but himself. This self centered, ignorant idiot of the highest degree and more selfish then selfish itself, mould the world strictly from his idiotic perspective. By doing that, to some people progress could be visualize but to many, pure destruction of the world and what ever good values that still remain in existence. Super powers of the world invented various weapon of mass destruction and called it progress. Mad scientists who by chance, stumble upon the latest biological technology and the whole world applauded, not knowing that the technology became the most deadly killing machine and used for ethnic cleansing. So tell me, where is progress. A developed nation is proud of the infrastructure they possess in their country not realizing that they are paying thru their nose for such infrastructure and the so-called progress.

It's a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often did not get it. Of the events of life we may have some control but over the law of its progress none. And the self centered person always thinks that he would get away with every sin that he has committed. Does he care about the cost that he has to pay? I don’t think so. Worst still, he will used anything around him to be his shield and slave in any event which he thinks will benefit him eventually. Winning is the ultimate motive and it does not matter how even if he need to manipulate the ultimate power – GOD in his quest, he will. Well, to me there is no right way to do something wrong. There is no right way to do something wrong. There is no right way to do something wrong. This is not a typo error. I am making sure that this word goes straight into those thick skulls.

Let’s talk about marriages. Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. Very often this is not clearly understood. Why is this so? To start with, I would say MANIPULATION. The matrimony ties have misled either side, husband or wife, to take things for granted. Due to this, the game of manipulation starts, then comes the cheating, lying and all other misdeeds that a human can think off resulted in not knowing which side you are really in. So what happens next? It is not necessary to have enemies if you go, out of your way, to make friends and love ones hate you. That is what normally happens next! To me, it is not sinful to have many wives and loads of kids as long as you know how to exercise pure justice. Pure justice in easier terms mean being able to put things where it really belongs. Imagine having a nut head as your Prime Minister, what will happen to the country or having an insane woman as your wife, what will happen to your kids or having a hard core drug addict as your husband, just imagine all this. I need to do justice to myself, people around me and the circle grows and grows further. And so does you and everybody else because even though we are in a different boat but we surely are sailing in the same ocean.

Every artist dreams is for people to understand the values that they are talking thru their art work. A lot has been said about life artistically. But still a lot more need to be done just to make this world a toleratable place to live in. Every time an artist dies part of the vision of mankind passes with him. The more sins you confess, the more books you will sell.

And life is also about secret. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. That’s how pathetic our life scenarios are. Some of us even approved of or sponsored such murders. Murders come in many forms, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. All this is just to ensure the dark secret remains in tact. When will all this stop. I do not have any answer to that but I will strive to the best of my ability to make sure that I am not the one who contribute to the destruction of man kind or whatever left of it.

A fair request should be followed by the deed in silence................................................................

LOST THE COUNTER

I was meddling with the template and for reason unknown to me I've lost the counter. Well, need to start over but what the heck....it is not a competition. I'll restart the counter and thinking, if only life is that easy...........................

JUST ME # 2

Same date and place and more or less same position. Showing off the beard and the Cigar

JUST ME

This is taken on the 5th of August 2004 in Evin, Tehran, Iran

TO CHANGE OR MAINTAINED

It has been too many times that we've come to a junction in our life which require us to make a decision. Too many times that I've made wrong decision, taking the wrong path of life, which leads me to many misery. Nevertheless, I've also made good decision and yes, enjoyed all the benefits of being right. There seems to be little u-turn or none at all in life. To change anything or everything that has happen is impossible. Once the decision is made and the journey has started, there seems to be no turning back. Many has mentioned, when you are in the wrong path just turn back to the right path. In bahasa " Sesat di hujung jalan, baliklah ke pangkal jalan". But life doesn't work that way. If the life path that you have walked for 20 years, then realizing that its not the right path, do you turn back and walk another 20 years? No, definitely not. The best option would probably be is to change path and keeps all the memoir of the previous path taken, whether beautiful or otherwise.

Life is not a fly by night game, here today, gone tomorrow. It is an accumulating transactions that need to be balance up when it reaches to the point of making another decision and decision is almost a must when you reached the junction. I have crossed so many of those junctions and now approaching yet another junction. While standing at this junction of my life, I saw various opportunity. One of those is a life-changing, once in a lifetime opportunity... an opportunity I have waited half my life for! Do I change or maintained. Decision seems to be difficult yet it is very crucial and I must decide..........

To change or maintained things which have no souls, would be quite easy but to change or maintained my life path which have significant effect on many souls is not quite the same. You will be happy to know that, you changing, has resulted in ultimate happiness in many other life and soul.... And you will be tormented to know that your changes have brought total misery to others........ Decision is then tougher.

As I witness all the whirlpool of my life, I must say that I've done quite a good job. Not perfect though but good enough to be proud of it. Good enough to share part and parcel of my life with someone close to me. And I have made it up to this point......... Alive. Alhamdullilah........ I praised my creator.

Still standing at this junction of my life, I know I have to make a decision and I shall make the right decision when the time comes........................

K SERA SERA # 2

People change, life change, situation change and changes occurs almost every seconds. New Prime Minister will, upon gaining ruling power through fair or unfair polling, change the old cabinets to new ones. A father & mother or single parent will decide to change they way of life to adapt with the situation that they are in. All constraint will be taken into account. Many changes are affected by financial constraint. Some are real financial constraint and many are fake ones. Some changes are for convenience eventhough the changes is inconvenient. That is the intro of my story today.......

Big Boss, after discussion with a handful of people, and private chit chat with ASS finally decide to realized his decision to move all staff to the Gloden Building in the Golden Triangle. Observing from my store room with a view, I saw top level people starting to move objects from one place to another. My only help was to give them my opinion as to where the item should be placed so that there is space. That's it. I've said to them that I am not going to strained my arms carrying objects as I believe this hands would be better used to type this post. Selfish........ Perhaps.

What I see is not a good sight at all. The Kon35tractor became the supervisor and my Operation Director, Research & Development Director, Group Financial Accountant and other staff became his general workers. What a pitiful sight. But it is their choice and nobody can stop them, not even me. All in a days work, to visualized the vision of the Big Boss (BB).

From my store room with a view, I could see frustration in the faces of the top level management. My Operation Director (OD) have to share his nicely carpeted and spacious room with the Group Financial Accountant (GFA). My Research & Development Director (RDD) have to sacrifices his room to the Assistant General Manager - Construction (AGM) and he, like it or not, have to join the other staff in the common area. The Advisor Support Service (ASS) seems happy though, because he got the first room (earmarked for me previously but later used by GFA) where he could observed all movement in and out of the company. His neighbor shall be the General Manager - Construction (GM) cum Project Director Consortium. The common area shall house about 14 personnel. It's going to be a very lively area. The OD suggested the use of traffic lights to ease movement. On the bright side, one can get cheap thrill by rubbing into one another......

Something are left untouched. The discussion room, reception area, conference room, BB room, Executive Director's room which will be used by the daughter, the Pantry, the filing & photostat room, and my store room with a view. That is the benefit of being a special case. A few would understand why but many will envy this situation. Well do I care................Nah.

Deep down inside, I pity all the top level people who most of them are my friends. Even though they are dissatisfied, they swallow all their dissatisfaction and put on the smile on their faces while saying that the BB's decision is as always - RIGHT. It has been and will always be their choice and as I've said, nothing could change it. Not even me. Only God knows their motive or hidden agenda.....

It is almost 5.30pm now and the aircond is off. Nobody seems to be lifting anything now and in my store room with a view, I was humming to myself... K SERA SERA whatever will be, will be... (you may hum the rest yourself). Happy shifting guys and gals.

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

On my way to the office today, Halim Othman of ERA was mumbling something about today being the independence day for USA. It's 4th of July. Then at the office my RDD send this to me and his source is www.whatreallyhappen.com After reading it I like to share this with a question. What happened to the people who signed the Declaration of Independence for my country. Any information guys!!!!

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE THE SIGNERS

Have you ever wondered what happened to the fifty-six men who signed the Declaration of Independence? This is the price they paid:

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons in the revolutionary army, another had two sons captured. Nine of the fifty-six fought and died from wounds or hardships resulting from the Revolutionary War.

These men signed, and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor! What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants. Nine were farmers and large plantation owners. All were men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty could be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers or both, looted the properties of Ellery, Clymer, Hall, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

Perhaps one of the most inspiring examples of "undaunted resolution" was at the Battle of Yorktown. Thomas Nelson, Jr. was returning from Philadelphia to become Governor of Virginia and joined General Washington just outside of Yorktown. He then noted that British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarter, but that the patriot's were directing their artillery fire all over the town except for the vicinity of his own beautiful home. Nelson asked why they were not firing in that direction and the soldiers replied, "Out of respect to you, Sir." Nelson quietly urged General Washington to open fire, and stepping forward to the nearest cannon, aimed at his own house and fired. The other guns joined in, and the Nelson home was destroyed. Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis's Long Island home was looted and gutted, his home and properties destroyed. His wife was thrown into a damp dark prison cell without a bed. Health ruined, Mrs. Lewis soon died from the effects of the confinement. The Lewis's son would later die in British captivity, also.

"Honest John" Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she lay dying, when British and Hessian troops invaded New Jersey just months after he signed the Declaration. Their thirteen children fled for their lives. His fields and his grist mill were laid to waste. All winter, and for more than a year, Hart lived in forests and caves, finally returning home to find his wife dead, his children vanished and his farm destroyed. Rebuilding proved too be too great a task. A few weeks later, by the spring of 1779, John Hart was dead from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

New Jersey's Richard Stockton, after rescuing his wife and children from advancing British troops, was betrayed by a loyalist, imprisoned, beaten and nearly starved. He returned an invalid to find his home gutted, and his library and papers burned. He, too, never recovered, dying in 1781 a broken man.

William Ellery of Rhode Island, who marveled that he had seen only "undaunted resolution" in the faces of his co-signers, also had his home burned.

Only days after Lewis Morris of New York signed the Declaration, British troops ravaged his 2,000-acre estate, butchered his cattle and drove his family off the land. Three of Morris' sons fought the British.

When the British seized the New York houses of the wealthy Philip Livingston, he sold off everything else, and gave the money to the Revolution. He died in 1778.

Arthur Middleton, Edward Rutledge and Thomas Heyward Jr. went home to South Carolina tight. In the British invasion of the South, Heyward was wounded and all three were captured. As he rotted on a prison ship in St. Augustine, Heyward's plantation was raided, buildings burned, and his wife, who witnessed it all, died. Other Southern signers suffered the same general fate.

Among the first to sign had been John Hancock, who wrote in big, bold script so George III "could read my name without spectacles and could now double his reward for 500 pounds for my head." If the cause of the revolution commands it, roared Hancock, "Burn Boston and make John Hancock a beggar!" Here were men who believed in a cause far beyond themselves.

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the America revolution. These were not wild eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this Declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

K SERA SERA

Its Monday again and I woke up with mixed feelings. Do not know what to expect and what is expected from me. Also uncertain whether my prayers have been or will be answered. My spirit was telling me to get moving while my body was giving me the “opposite direction” instruction while my mind remained motionless. It’s truly a mixed feeling and it took me quite a while before deciding what to do. Remembering that I still need to go to the office, I dragged my lazy & tired old self out of bed and do the normal routine of hygienic cleaning. Then diligently conduct my routine duty taking care of my wife needs and attending to other household needs.

Already in the car driving fast and heading towards the metropolitan city of Kuala Lumpur. I am hoping that the banker would be mistaken and forget to deduct my withdrawals from the salary credited late last week even though I am quite sure it won’t happen and the money would not stay in that account for more than 1 day. Being a fixed income earner, like me, is so pathetic. Work for the whole month yet earned barely enough to cover for all expenses. And the salary seems to vaporize into other people’s account. That’s the benefit of owing money to people. When there is too many and you need to settle them all at one time…… it vaporizes.

Reach the office quite early, about 10.15am. Well it is early for me. Normally I would reach the office just before lunch or slightly after lunch. Lunch time is 1.00pm, by the way. None of the top level people seems to be around. Quite interesting, at least I could get some peace and quite for a change. Enter my room, the store room with a view, and start my day at work. Well that peace and quite does not stay for long. The Group Financial Accountant (CFA) came and we start talking about financial matters. The subject on steel came up again and it looks like we need to crack our head to arrange the financial need for the steel set-up. Shortly after that, the International Executive, who has just came back from Iran, came with some reports on the potential meeting dates with the Ministry of Finance – Iran schedule on 11th July 2005. I did not need to tell him that we need a written confirmation as he has already sent the request himself. I think he has been trained by someone very capable and couple with his own strength, well the result is superb. By the way he is still single and available………

About 20 minutes later, while CFA is still in my store room with a view, the BIG BOSS (BB) walked in. After exchanging short greetings, he start talking about his last visit in Iran and what is needed to be done for all the potential business there. I manage to get his commitment to pay one of the consultant involve in the BOT job there. What a relieve. Needed their figures to justify my cashflow to the bankers. Without payment, well all of us need to go to the nearest lake and soak ourselves, before even dreaming of the financing to be in place. He then called the Research & Development Director (RDD) and the Advisor Support Service (ASS) guy to join him in my store room. Imagine this, all 4 of them sitting in front of me and I was wandering who is actually the Big Boss here. To bad it’s not me!!! Then the Steel matter was up again and this time somebody is required to prepare the financial proposal. Cunningly, I suggested ASS to do it even though BB wanted the International Executive to work on it. Why not ASS? He always claims to have all the experience. BB reluctantly agreed. I reminded CFA to provide ASS with the completed cashflow. Suddenly I feel like a Big Boss. But then Big Boss without money…. Nah. Save by the bell, the Nasi Kandar arrived. Everybody adjourned to the meeting room for lunch, compliments of BB. I stayed in my store room and manage to make a few calls. Able to get some meeting fixed for the evening.

I am quite sure that today will be long and bored, as my room will be visited by the BB on and off. Got to find a logical excuse to leave the office. Nothing came up yet but I will definitely find one and it must be soon, I hope or else I have to endure listening to a lot of nonsense. Pity me, myself and I.

Sorry guys, I just don’t know what to write. K SERA SERA (I know the spelling is wrong but what the hell) seems to be a good title and so what will be will be……….

SECRET

There has been too many times that secrets trusted to trusted friends became known secret. There has also been too many times that the secret became known due to the owner of the secret himself. And of course, somewhere along the line during the transferring of secret from one to another, the reality of the secret was distorted. Hence, there remain little or no truth at all about the secret. I too has been in all this category. Some of the secrets that was told to me in confidence has been intentionally or unintentionally conveyed to others also in confidence. My secret that I share with a few people became the revelation of the day. Funny but its true.

Human, in one of the definitions, are social being. Being human means to be able to socialize. To be able to socialize a person need to possess the public relation (pr) skill. A lot of people could be satisfied just by being with a group of gossipers. Others are satisfied by conducting the gossiping. To be able to gossip also needs a pr skill. Some people gossips and it sounded like its "the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God" kind of thing. Some are straight forward gossipers. Some gossip in a story telling manner which of course have been spice up to make it interesting. Some are telling people secrets and making it sound like gossiping.

It is even funnier to know that some so called secret are not meant to be a secret at all. If it is a secret to you than why bother telling other people!!! Having said that, we should also be able to understand that the burden of holding something within you could be painful and I think that's why people let go certain part of them which they term as " secret" to others.

Which category are you? All of the above and feel free to use additional pages if required, part of the above or none of the above.